how much can you handle

why is it that we tend to think that life will be easy. Just when things get positive the heat seems to turn up. And all we can do is trust God. Trust him that he will give us the ability to make it through but then it seems to start over. Each time we grow a bit and can handle a little more but sometimes it doesnt feel like it till its over. And why is it that the people around you seem to make things harder. Quite often your best employee can give you the most grief or your relatives that should be the most supportive turn out to let you down the quickest. Time to buck up. Big shoulders for big loads.

Strange how things work.

Sometimes things just dont go as we think. I was struggling away trying to make a proper business out of my decking company and not able to get anything going. So i was looking around for something to do to supplement my income and I had the oppurtunity to do a siding job. Sam would probably interupt at this point to say i bsed my way into it which is apperantley something Im incredibly talented at but thats beside the point. ive never been afraid to take risk and learn something new so armed with confidence bordering on cockiness and the internet I decided to go at it. Part way through the job I was approched by a manager from a local exteriors company. Tom came and asked who we worked for. I said me. He said all these guys are working for you? Yep! which was not a lie. it was my job and they were all helping me out so i just didnt tell him that we were only looking at this as a one off job. He asked if we would be interested in subcontracting for some work. I said sure and we set up a meeting with the owners of sis at this time which was about the time i started to crap my pants. I arrived at the meeting pretty nervous and had three guys give me a head to toe look as I came through the door. They were pretty straight looking and i figured if nothing else I would at least get a coffee out of the deal. We talked for a bit and then the father looked at me and said we would really like to work with you. HUH! Do you have any idea how little experience I have. All with an inside voice and then the bs ability kicked in. Well how much do you guys pay? We pay 1.50 a square foot is that in the ball park? Well im getting more than that right now we are around 2.00. Oh really.......um well maybe we could work something out. We have some jobs already booked with that rate in labour but as we book more work we could try to up the rate so you get to where you want to be.
So we agree to try out a job and part ways. They didnt really have as much work as they had hoped but they keep throwing the odd little bit jobs our way but no siding. Finally they give us a house and we fly at it. by this time i have mostly new guys that have no siding experience. In 9 days we bust out this house and work our tails off but at the same time have some guys that are getting work experience and its pretty slow. The builder suggests to me that we should leave the decking and just side because we are really good at it. I tell him we have been thinking about it but cant book enough work to make it happen. He asks why we arent going to his next project? I tell him we are second in line for the jobs and #1 sis crew has the next start. I left out the part about it being our first job for sis and only our 4th job ever. He looks at me and says Im not having that other guy on my site! If this is the speed you work at and the quality you give I want you guys on my jobs. I just about choked. I said that i would love to do his jobs but it wasnt up to me so maybe the next one we would get. He said Nope, Ive got a meeting with those guys in 15 minutes and im going to tell them. Ohhhhh crap here we go, Im about to dive head first into a mess. But half an hour goes by and i get a call from tom the manager. Well rick Jason and I just had a meeting with dylan and He said your his guy so we have another house for you to start tomorrow or the day after the long weekend. !!!!!?????!!!!! Insane.
So im feeling pretty good about things and then today Tom comes up to me on the job and there are a few things he nit pick about the job but its all petty stuff. Almost like he has to find something and he tells me the winery job he had offered me decided to do stucco and I said no worrys I have some jobs coming up for myself that I can keep busy with. NO YOU DONT! He says, and then procedes to tell me that we are so much better than the other crew that they might not even give them anymore work. We are #1 for SIS. I dont think its just bs that made this happen. God plays a huge part in it for sure but confidece in the abilities hes given us is huge. Im a big guy. I wasnt made to sit ata desk. I can lift heavy things and get work done and God has lined up and oppurtunity for me and its mine to make the rest happen. Its increddible and i feel great and so fortunate and I hope to be responsible with what Ive been given and bless those around me the way Ive been blessed. We will see!

God is good?

I never know exactley what to do when something good happens. Is it God? Did he reward me for something I have been faithfull in? I have no problem giving God the glory and as I write that last bit i realize its not totally true because I like to think im pretty smart too. But if God is the creator of all things then should he not get the glory for the good things that happen to us. My next question is then is he not responsible for the bad then as well which leads me right back to my last post which wondered how you have a relationship with God in the first place.Tough stuff these days and yet i think God hooked me up the other day with more work. We were going to hit a three week lul and i was stressing out and then because of hard work and good quality we were demanded on the next project by the contractor who is building the house we are siding right now. We have only done this for 6 months at the most and we were requested above the #1 siding crew for SIS exteriors. Im still pretty proud and will therefore get cut down abit at some point but im riding the wave till then. I have always strived to be the best at whatever I do and while This may not make us the best siders in the valley it doesnt mean we arent last :)

just cause Ian asked

I havent blogged lately because i havent had much to say. since my mother in law passed away i havent really felt like pouring my heart into anything. Too much cranky to come out. Which is probably what has got me going again. That and the fact Ian was giving me the gears. My beef these day sis christianese. The next person that tells me God has a plan for whats going on will probably get a punch in the throat. I just cant handle the stupid things that people say to try to describe "christian" things. One of the last ones was someone said they needed to let God riegn over them. Which brings me to a tough question about our relationship with God. How do you have a relatioship with someone that rules over you. God didnt creat man so he had something to play with like his own reality game. he created us for a relationship. to converse with to have a life with. and then somehow we have turned it into this serious over rule. I could be missing it completely but i just dont see how i can have a relatioship with someone that is going to rule over me. i mean that seems impossible.

Rob Bell has nothing on Ian Smith

So Wednesday night is house church night and we have been working our way through the nooma series by Rob Bell which as controversial as his thoughts are other than Sam taking exception to Rob Bell opening his mouth no real good conversation has come out of most of it. Kind of just like going through the paces. So we watched the video, went through the questions and that was it. Then I got the idea to throw out soemthing that Ian had said earlier in the day. I believe in evolution just not the theory of evolution. Or something to that effect. It was great People got mad, people left the room, people got hung up on terminology and in the end it was really interesting. I was surprised that some dont believe the biblical account of creation. The find it easier to believe an evolution based account triggered by God. This was something I had never heard before but was pretty interested in. They could accept that the earth was formless and void and that in that area God had stirred things up and out of that something like the big bang or darwins theory of evolution had been born. Still giving all the credit to God for the creation of everything in Heaven and on earth but Not believing in a literal seven day creation story. Magnificent. I dont buy it myself but I thought that in itself was a pretty interesting vien of thought. I explained that the reason for Darwins original theory of evolution had been an attempt at establishing a creation of life on earth that was contrary to a God involved and also that much of the work poured into the theory of the big bang had also been motivated by attempts at disproving God as originator of life on earth. The thing that interests me is always whats the motivation behind the research. Quantum physics is struggling with the thought that no matter how much research they do there is something missing. And the same is happening in other scientific fields. No matter how far they go they keep coming to a point where it doesnt make sense. Much of darwins work on adaptation of species was right on and very ground breaking for its time and i think very relevent today. But the motivation was poor and when some one now states that they believe in evolution it has become a catch phrase that catagorizes you no different than claiming to be a christian or a budhist. There has to be a different way to define your self. Old terminology needs to be doen away with. What do you believe in? I believe in evolution. Means to people that you dont believe in Gods creation. But science has proven much of evolution to be true. And if you believe that God created all things then you believe that God created things to evolve and adapt. The frusteration came when discussing the bible and some people just could not get there heads around the old testament history and the parables of the new testament. I tried to explain that there many truths in the old testament that were good to know wether we belived in the validity of the scriptures. the foods that were forbiden were even untill recent years still known to carry disease and while the new covenant abolished the food issues maybe still we would be better off without pork and tuna from a health perspective. And also the hair braiding beard growing tattooing makeup wearing stuff. What if we hadnt adopted these things into our culture. Remove vanity fromour society today and how different would it look. We would be less concerned about how we looked and possibly have more time for what surounds us. So in looking at some of these things It makes me take the old testamnet seriously and the parables in the new testament while they were used to speak to uneducated people that didnt have our advancements in technology they are still good solid truths for us to live by 2000 years later. It ended up just two of us at the end and we were discussing how people that dont know God do good things. My perspective was that God can do good through all people because he created us all. but when we enter into a relationship with him we give him the use of all our time to do good things. And if we know good people then why wouldnt we want them to have a relationship with God because it would give more purpose to their lives and give glory to God. I could go on and on but thats the coles notes and I hope that a good blogg post is as entertaining as my messy ones. :)

?????

These days im frusterated. Not even completely sure why just iritated and feel like pickin a fight with someone. Lots of good things are happening these days work has picked up and we are making money finally. Amys mom has had a huge turn around and might acctually come home from the hospice which is a miracle in itself. Everyone is healthy and enjoying the sun and high temps it almost doesnt seem like i could possible feel frusterated. And yet Im fighting myself I think this whole revival thing in lakeland and the way it has spread across the country seems so good on the outside but so wierd at it heart. And yet people are recieving miracles and what is happening to Amys mom is somewhat born out of this whole thing. Churches all across Canada and the states are jumping on the revival band wagon, holding satelite meetings and sending out elders and pastors to recieve the annointing and bring it back. The thing thats getting me is that for the last couple of years i have really desired to see a major move of God. I remember when i was in high school a fellow had come to the school and church and major spiritual acctivity was happening and it was undeniable as to what was going onpeople where getting healed. But now I have to wonder what made that great memory moment in my life any different than lakeland? I cant remember who the guy was. I do remeber people laughing uncontrolablly and falling down but no barking like dogs and shrieking like they were being crucified. I even had an experience myself where i just couldnt stop laughing I was just so happy i couldnt stop laughing. I think the irritation comes from not having a higher intellect to pick. Someone who is wise beyond years I guess that has seen it all. I have lots of friends but they are all into questioning the fundamentals these days. I believe that we need to look at soem things differentley, Like our attitudes towards the world around us and how we relate to nonchristians. I think we need to take the judgement of others sins out of our lives and leave it up to God more. We need to be wise to protect our families from harm but also open to taking a risk on Gods behalf. These are things I feel like have been lacking in the past but I have also noticed people really making efforts to correct them today and I feel encouraged by them. But not so much in my own little community. the progressive change is being overshadowed by this whole new age type movement in christianity. Really the lakeland revival isnt anydifferent than middle eastern style spirit guides and mysticism. The friends that I share a faith with seem more interested in pointing out what is wrong with our faith than charting a course with what is right. WE ARE STAGNANTE! There is only one couple that coems on wednesday night that isnt related to me somehow and my living room is full and has no room for people that might want to come. And I feel like kicking people out! Like asking them to leave so peoplethat really are interested in moving forward have somewhere to sit. And yet each week they all show up again and I dont even understand why. Im not interested in putting too much thought into my faith. If I have to reason it out then its not faith. For faith there is some stuff we will have to accept weather we understand it or not. I dont care if the bible is parable or not. Its the only book we have. I dont even feel the need to think about ends times because the end is coming for me and i have no control over that. If ive made the wrong choice in my faith I wont get to find that out untill the end anyhow and then its too late. I dont believe I have but Im also not going to stress out about my decision. this is pretty rambly and speratic thought but I often feel better trying to type out whats in my mind. And when your not trying to explain it to soemone so that they understand you its less frusterating. I try to never reply to a comment because then I have to discuss it and thats not why I blogg. I do it to get the thoughts out. Kinda like a modern day journal that others can read. And i do like the comments its kindof a passive interactition that doesnt require alot of effort. Funny I feel better already :)

Are we just blind?

Ive been thinking alot lately. Not that I dont think most of the time but given whats been going on these days I have lots to think about. I came from a fairly charismatic christian background and some parts of it I really miss but it seems these days there is some pretty crazy stuff going on in the corporate church. There is a " revival " going on in the states right now that is getting alot of attention. Im a fairly sceptical person when it comes to any sort of big tv evangelist type event but I thought this guy seemed different. Acctually he looks alot like me when I shave my head. He comes from a rough background and i think he met god while he was in jail. Good sounding story and hes from abbotsford and hes really into impartation of the holy spirit which seemed good compared to the tv healer that uses his gifting for his own bussiness. But while I was watching him speak on line his audio kept screwing up and the voice that was coming out sounded demonic. It was acctually kinda creepy. The other thing he kept talking about was an Angel of healing. That was coming down to heal people and imparting the gifting. This didnt sound scriptural to me but im no scholar so I just left it alone asked a few people what they thought of the whole angel bit and forgot about it. But the momentum kept growing and more people where talking about it and my grandmother in law has been going to satelight meetings and my inlaws are getting wrapped up in it and so is the church they have been attending and they are believing in God that these miracles can happen to them. But Im not convinced that its God. Tavis called me yesterday and he had recieved some emailed stuff that addressed the whole Lakeland revival and it was pretty shocking and affirming all at the same time. Basically the guy who wrote the artical was taking issue with the angel and the impartation of the gift of healing. First his take on the Angel was that the guy talks to this angel and its name is emma. Which is wierd and I dont care where you come from. Also apperantley this is the English name for it and the really name comes from some eastern religion. The second thing was that the gift of healling is not for us to give to other people. I cant impart anything to anyone its all god. The  gift of the holy spirit is there for evferyone but is the gift of healling. So now Im thinking Which way is up? How can soemthign that seems so good be so off track