A man shall leave his mother and.......

father and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24. It is funny to me that we always use that bible reference at weddings. Not because I find it untrue. but because it has a sense of finality that seems to have been lost. We are so intertwined in one anothers lives that the only reall way to leave your father and mother is to move far away! I dont think that in the bible they had the luxury of packing up all there stuff and moving 1100 kilometers away to another city. I think they had a different respect for each other. I have had it pointed out to me many times that this or that woman has a jezebel spirit when they are being nosy or controlling. But what about men? What is the male equivelent of the same spirit? And why is it so hard for parents to stop pushing their view points as if they are the only ones that matter far after you have "fled the nest". It would seem that we have created some sort of soap opera monster. I know for some of you that might read this you will think " oh boy aaron had to spend too much time with his parents", but its not even me I was thinking about. Someone sayed to me they didnt understand why their son seemed to have such a hard time with them. He said" every time i tell him something you can see that he gets all uptight. Im not sure why that is but It something that hes going to have to work out." I said dont most boys have a problem with there fathers when they grow up and move out? And sure it is for him to deal with. But I think its more a case of him trying to figure out What he believes and what he wants to do. And in my head " and your not helping the situation." I was blessed with two Dads but to be honest still at 34 years old they have the ability to make me want to stop talking to both of them for long periods of time. I am pretty different than both of them in my religious views and a strange mix of their personalities. And it makes for awkward conversation most of the time because when you try to open up and be real you get solutions and fixits that generally focus on you being 10 and not keeping your room clean. We dont seperate Son from Married man, and i think its hurting father son relations. it doesnt say go cleave to your wife and then come home and be a kid again. When you left you were on your own inlife. Not that people arent still there for you but you are making your own life. You are 100% going to do things different than your parents because you have to. Otherwise you are a clone and we werent created for that. I recently had a chance to sit down and get to know someone and one of the first things he told me about himself was that he wasnt a yes man. I thought that was a strange way of describing yourself, but a few weeks later im still mulling it over. Am I a Yes man? I hope not to be and I think every man should get to the point when he stops being a yes man And starts being his own man. And I think that should happen when he moves out of the house. I once called home a while after moving out of the house and was getting a lecture about something that i had done im not even sure what it was but suddenly it dawned on me that I was paying by the minute to get into trouble! I cut dad off and said he wasnt aloud to lecture me on my dime and that if he wanted to give me unsolicitated advice he was going to have to call me. It just struck me as funny at the time and came back to me while i was talking to this father. maybe your son doesnt want the unsolicited advise. Hes heard it for the past however many years and now hes trying to figure out his path. Which brings me back to the whole spirit thing. is there any difference between the male and the female? Something to discuss I suppose.

An answer to prayer.....

About two weeks ago I was feeling pretty low about the adoption process. For those of you that might not know we have been involved in the adoption process for about 15 months. We had been told that we were very desireable candidates and first on the top of the list for people that they wanted to get through the program but it has seemed like every class we went to there were people that were farther along than us without meeting all the requirements that we had met and I had lost faith in the fact that God even wanted us to adopt. So I prayed about it. Just once and it was pretty frank and to the point. I told God that I didnt really feel like it was working out and that I wasnt even sure I really wanted to adopt anymore. But that it had been a pretty major thing for me to get to the point where I was even open to adopting. And I prayed that we would know by Sams wedding ( Feb 23 ). So the first week went by and nothing. At the start of the next week we got a letter about amy making up one session she had missed but that wasnt what I had been looking for so I wasnt satisfied that that was an answer. Also on Monday we were talking to one of the people that was a reference for me and they were saying that they hadnt quite finished the required reference forms but were just about done. I quickly calculated in my mind that even if they were done that evening and mailed it still wouldnt have made it in in time for the ministry to process them and move us to the next step because the government just doesnt work that fast ever. I figured it was over and I was kinda cross. A good friend of mine said every vision has a birth and a death and then God comes through. I thought your and idiot im not talking to you about this anymore! So Thursday morning I went to pick up a check and it wasnt ready and i was discouraged and tired of life and pulling back up to my house I thought to myself man some days God just doesnt come through. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind and I mean the very second. My cell phone rings and its Amy. " Linda just called from the ministry and she wants to start our home study. !!??!!??!! I didnt know if i was going to laugh or cry! It was an amazing feeling. I was still discouraged about the check I was happy about the phone call I was embarrased for doubting God just too many emotions. So i did what I always I laughed! It was an amazing lesson and almost felt like someone putting there hand on your shoulder and saying its ok. I am still here and im working on things. Unfortunatlly the person He seems to work on the most is me, or so it would seem when your the person going through it. Im sharing this because I receltly read a really good book and one of the points that jumped out at me was testimony breeds testimony. When something good happens you should tell everyone because that will encourage them to have faith. So...Have faith :)

Crash

Well that is officially the end of my cleanse. I packed it in today after five days of misery. i had another really low day today we went down to the park and I threw the stick for prince for awhile just about had to have a nap when I was done. I was really lathargic and spacey and after talking to Tavis and Miranda decided that it probably wasnt going to work thid week with all the stuff going on so I had some dinner. It was still really hard because the weight loss payoff is huge but if i cant work then its not really going to make any sense. On the brighter side tavis and Mir are looking at a piece of land on the baja which could facilitate my attempt at avoiding snow in the next few years. Could be fun!

Piture this

Me.... with my shirt puller up over my head....... running around like I just scored a world cup goal! Ugly I know but that is about how I feel right now. I just weighed myself and I was 269lbs. Which is great because I made it through the day today and didnt crash. And Im down 6 lbs in 4 days. Fantastic! On the down side I had tea with a guy today that really made me think. Hes a couple of years younger than I am and at the exact same place I was about five years ago. Hes an environmental christian! Grew up in a christian family got "saved" in sunday school. Goes to the church that his parents go to because he would rather go than put up with the hassel as to why he didnt come. And non of it is real. We talked and I wanted to tell him lots of things but in the end it wouldnt help because its just my walk. It doesnt matter for him because its not his shoes. You just want to put your arm around the guy and help him walk through it but until he decides he wants it for himself it wont help. So after offering some bits of advice all I could do was invite him for dinner some night if he feels like making the drive to summerland. I agonized about it on the way home wishing there was a nugget of wisdom I could have dropped on him that would have made all the difference in his world but there wasnt. It makes me not want Betsy to grow up in the church. Almost would seem better if she had to make her own choice at eighteen. So that it would be her choice her relationship with God her path to walk. I dont know.........

Tired

Well another day down only 7 more to go but if there are like today im dead! I flushed this morning and then headed over to naramata to look at a new job. I was feeling pretty good but the cold seemed to bother me more than usual. on the way back I realized today would be a great day to have a boozy coffee and some chicken wings but I wasnt eating. It is no fun when your not eating and you have free time. As the day went on I was getting more tired and just wanting to have some food. I love food and cooking and its really crappy when you cant even entertain properly. I made some rice paper wraps with some dip, but I couldnt seem to get into a groove to make anything else because I didnt want to think about food. And Im tired of lemon and cayenne and syrup. Its not that bad but its boring after you drink 3 liters a day. My only hope is that people say after 3 days your in the clear as far as food cravings are conserned. But i have to have more energy if we are going to be busier. The Highlight of the day though was Mark and Heather and Katie showing up when they got to town. Its always nice when friends come back. Im very excited to have them back. Now we need to find Mark a job and maybe help him get the rest of his stuff back from Kitimat which might involve a quick trip to go steelheading. Well im 272lbs today and im going to drink my tea and put my sorry ass to bed because im done!

Another day another cup of tea

So today saw the first weight change down 2 lbs to 273 which is a small victory in its self. But The real issue today was coffee headaches. Its surprising how much affect coffee has on us. I dont get headaches very often at all and if I do they never last but today was wicked. I wasnt sure if I could take an asprin so i tried to tough it out most of the day but in the end I succumed to the pain. I was shaky as well which makes me think that maybe Ill stay off coffee. The salt water flush did its thing this morning which was good because I was a little worried about toxin build up if it wasnt going to work. Tomorrow is supposed to be the killer a far as food is concerned and then down hill after that.
On a very positive note at the end of our little group kast night I prayed that sam and I would start getting more work and today I got two calls and landed one of the jobs and am going to look at the other tomorrow as well as a contractor that we have done a couple of decks for in the past called to say he would have one ready at the end of march. I should have maybe prayed for work alittle sooner. I had been trying not to ask for things when I prayed these days just prayers of thanksgiving instead of always showing up with a shopping list but God does want to bless us so I maybe need to rethink the strategy. The countdown is on for Sams wedding and our Good friends Mark and Heather should be back from Kitimat tomorrow. very exciting! Oh yeah and I think my sister is back from antigua today or maybe tomorrow which is cool too!

The good the bad and no ugly

So day one is over. I am once again sipping a cup of Bija laxative tea and planning on going to bed soon. I am still 275 lbs which seems impossible because i had to pee every half hour it seemd like. The tea didnt do much for me in fact maybe had the other affect but it is only day one so we shall see. On the bright side it was out small group night tonight and things were kinda tense. People were actually a bit put off by the alpha series last week because the videos seemed too basic, which threw Amy and I for a bit of a loop and left us wondering what now. So some people were late and a couple couldnt make it but we decided to sit down and discuss a vision for what we should do over the next few weeks. I shared mostly that I felt God nudging us to do something instead of the usuall nothing and I shared where I was coming from in wanting to facilitate a time in our lives where we got together with God as a focus instead of happy hour or a reno party. Time to listen and hear God and talk to each other. It seems to have been the right thing to do because at the end we decided we would do the alpha videos and just see where things went after that. It was a huge weight off my shoulder because I felt like the Alpha videos where an opportunity to review our foundations and wrestle with some of the finer points so that we could move on all on board at the same place. I didnt have any plan B! Thankyou to those of you that have been praying for us I think tonight was a hurdle to our moving forward for better things and we were able to get over it. :)

Im am not hungry! I am not hungry! I am not hungry!

Wow Im not very far into this and already ive noticed I have really bad eating habits. I keep going to look for food because im bored. I havent had anything to eat since last night dinner so I would say I kinda feel hungry so I just keep drinking my lemon drink and I seem to be doing fine. I do feel abit funny though almost like a fuzzy or vibrating feeling over my body. Maybe from the syrup? Or the cayenne? but Im doing OK and I havent started to get cranky yet from the no food which IM sure will come right around 6 tonight when I make dinner for our little house group.

And so the cleanse begins

I had mentioned a few days ago that I was considering a cleanse and have decided to give it a go. I am starting at 275lbs on our home scale which i think is wrong because i was quite a bit more at the doctors office the other day but we will go with the house one because im not going back to the doctors evertime I want to way myself. I am drinking my laxative tea right now befor bed to get things going and in th emorning it will be salt water followed by lemon drink. I will keep you posted

A poem for our christianity?

Currently this is my favorite poem.......



The Calf-Path
Sam Walter Foss (1858 -1911)

One day, through the primeval wood,A calf walked home, as good calves should;
But made a trail all bent askew,A crooked trail as all calves do.
Since then two hundred years have fled,And, I infer, the calf is dead.
But still he left behind his trail,And thereby hangs my moral tale.
The trail was taken up next dayBy a lone dog that passed that way;
And then a wise bell-wether sheepPursued the trail o'er vale and steep,
And drew the flock behind him, too,As good bell-wethers always do.
And from that day, o'er hill and glade,Through those old woods a path was made.
And many men wound in and out,And dodged, and turned, and bent about;
And uttered words of righteous wrath,Because 'twas such a crooked path.
But still they followed - do not laugh -The first migration of that calf.
And through this winding wood-way stalked,Because he wobbled when he walked.
This forest path became a lane,That bent, and turned, and turned again.
This crooked lane became a road,Where many a poor horse with his load,
Toiled on beneath the burning sun,And traveled some three miles in one.
And thus a century and a half,They trod the footsteps of that calf.
The years passed on in swiftness fleet,The road became a village street;
And this, before men were aware,A city's crowded thoroughfare;
And soon the central street was this,Of a renowned metropolis;
And men two centuries and a half,Trod the footsteps of that calf.
Each day a hundred thousand rout,Followed the zigzag calf about;
And o'er his crooked journey went,The traffic of a continent.
A hundred thousand men were led,By one calf near three centuries dead.
They followed still his crooked way,And lost one hundred years a day;
For thus such reverence is lent,To well-established precedent.
A moral lesson this might teach,Were I ordained and called to preach;
For men are prone to go it blind,Along the calf-paths of the mind;
And work away from sun to sun,To do what other men have done.
They follow in the beaten track,And out and in, and forth and back,
And still their devious course pursue,To keep the path that others do.
But how the wise old wood-gods laugh,Who saw the first primeval calf !
Ah ! many things this tale might teach - But I am not ordained to preach.

But I dont want to have church......

Sounds like the beggining of a 5 year olds rant on Sunday Morning doesnt it. Ive spent lots of time going to "church" and like most people have defined church as a place and a time during my week of other things to do. Do you think God laughs at us? God in my understanding is hard to define hes everywhere, He knows everything, hes in everything. Ive had two seperate sermons lately that have come my way. One i bought and one given to me from oposite ends of my personal religious spectrum that have both talked about how quantum physacists are finding that no matter how far down they break matter they cant find the end. They are being forced to have faith and believe that things are the way they say they are. That at the end of it all there is this energy that cant be defined. We define everything in life we define church, and we define being a christian, and we even try to define God. ( Or what God is like) So I have defined church and my definition is getting blown to pieces daily. I met with a wise old man last week ( he probably wouldnt abmit to being either and hes not really old but he is much wiser than I) and during our talk I realized that that A: I have some issues from my past ( who doesnt ) B: I might have started a church! I kept saying i didnt want to have a house church i didnt even want to call anything church and i was informed it was basically too late. I imagine God laughing at this point because he has an awesome sense of humour or id be dead already.
You see we started having a bible study. I didnt want to call it a bible study. I didnt want to have it on wednesday because thats when most bible study/ house groups meet. I didnt really want anything more than to gather a group of people in my home for the oportunity to build relationships with god as the focus of those relationships. "Sounds like a church" is what i was told. " But I dont really have any intereste in starting a church. I dont see myself as a pastor." "Yeah thats what I said", He told me.
It would seem to come down to interpreting what a church is. For so much of my life church has been a building on the corner of east georgia street in vancouver. A pastor was someone that had a fulltime paid position to feed the flock so to speak. (Boy that sounds religious!) But what im discovering for myself is that there are many different ways to do church. The church in the bible was people. They met in houses. Being pastoral was a calling, Different from being a teacher, a profit, a healer. All giftings that the people need to function as a whole. Im not very musical so I deffinetly wouldnt be in charge of leading a worship service but that doesnt meen that God cant put a song on my heart. Im also not very scholarly and that doesnt limit me from having something good to say. So I started a church. And that scares me to death! I feel responsible for other peoples well being now. What if I disapoint them. What if I offend them. What if Im wrong!!!
Its so funny that God puts something on your heart and you start to make it your own. My last three statments revolve around I. As though it really all started with me. God said do it! I did it. I wanted to know who to invite God said these people! Then he added another when I finally decided to listen. And now I have to make one more phone call because hes Given me another name. The one person I really wanted to see come isnt really that interested in coming right now. People even had to be told they couldnt come and that was frightening. How do you tell someone they cant come to your house to fellowship with everyone for the sake of some of the people you feel God wants to be there? All very wierd new concepts and feelings for me.
So hear I sit slowly typing it out. Its hard to discuss where your at because I would never have got this all out in a conversation without having to clarify or defend or justify. Its not about defending Because God can defend himself. And my only justification is God said so that really turns it all back to him. I am now part of a church. It meets at my house on wednesday nights and we start with dinner we dont yet have a worship service but that might come. We have watched a couple of videos and had a good time to discuss. And other than that we are open to anything that God has for us. We arent even sure what to do this wednesday night! Seeing as there have been only two people checking out my blog and im related to both of them makes it easier to pour out what Im going through without being afraid of what they have to say. And thats something ill have to get over. I have to learn to be more transparent with people and take the critisism to God and let him direct it. Whoooooooo...... what a journey!

To cleanse or not to cleanse

I am considering the master cleanse as a kick off to my attempt at getting back in shape. For those that dont know what the cleanse entails you start with a laxative tea the first night. ( Im told you dont want to mess with a senna tea it will make your night somewhat uncomfortable) The next morning you have a half liter of lukewarm water with 2 teaspoons of seasalt disolved in it to start your day and then you make a lemon drink equal parts lemon juice to pure maple syrup mixed with water and a pinch of cayenne pepper. Your allowed some caffiene free mint tea but thats basically it till your laxative tea befor bed. 10 days later you should have lost about 20 pounds but also detoxified your body and cleansed your colon which who doesnt need that!?! I guess the real question is when to start? I hava a wedding to go to in about 2 weeks so i want to be done by then. Ill take some before picture which will probably be worse than Heathers cadaver photos but its all for interest sake.

The begining of my Quest

So i decided i would blog because i really liked being able to look at my siblings blogs and thought it would be a great way to stay in touch over distances. I also figured it was a great way to chronicle my quest to avoid the cold wet stuff. This year has been a complete failure at avoiding the snow as it has been the snowiest yet for us in summerland. Theres always next year!