Why.....

is it raining? Im not so sure i can handle anymore crappy weather. We have lots of work and we need to get it doen but I cant do it when its raining. I would just sell my house and move to mexico if i could work down there but 7 bucks a day isnt going to cut it. Maybe I should go to med school in antigua. Not nearly smart enough or dedicated enough to education for that but the pictures sure look good. Maybe Dad would pay me to keep the guys away from heather. That is somethign I will ahve to discuss with him. Bodyguard for my little sister....... YEs Ill call right now. Seriously though this spring is depressing. Its time for some good weather because its even to wet for the veggies in my garden. They havent seen the sun in days.Peas were sprouting beets and radishes were coming up and now they are just standing there like" Hey where did the sun go". Oh well at least it cant continue forever but its wrecking my tan.

The agony..

Sometimes in life you feel like the carpet gets pulled out from beneath you. You are sitting around discussing things with your friends when all of a sudden you hit on a subject and you realize that you arent on the same page. And its major stuff. Its not who your hockey teams are or which is your favorite fly for night fishing for brown trout. Its faith and God and these are the people you share your life with and now yuo are floored because not only do you not agree but one of you is very very wrong. And it doesnt really matter to you that you are the one thats right but it worries you that they could be wrong and this is bad stuff. This is foundational stuff that could lead to no more hanging out having these very discussions. And you sleep on it and you wake up the next morning and you are low. Just completly in a fog and no amount of coffee is bringing you out of this. Its all you can think about it consumes your day and you need soemone to talk to and you need them to talk back because you really want answers. And not feelings or thoughts concrete stake your life on them answers. And there is no one. You dont want the answers of your youth. You dont want the ideas of your friends and it feels like God cant speak fast enough or clear enough to sort it out for you. You feel like a lonely naked man standing in an open field. There is no where to hide no where to run and all you can do is sink to the ground and lie there. And then some one sees you and they ask whats wrong and you dont tell them but they offer to pray for you and there ok with not knowing why they just want to pray for you later when they are going to bed. And you look at the and say ok and the next day you wake up and you have a great day. You get some relief and you give your time to a worthy cause and the people around you are blessed and the pressure lifts and your still that lonely naked man but you dont feel like you cant stand up. Meybe you have a fig leaf or something but your not as naked feeling. And then you see soem of your friends and you want to talk to them about it but you realize that what you feel and how it would come out would probably make them not be your friend any more or maybe your spouse. And so you leave it alone for now and you try to just be friends but you know that its between you. And you wonder if it will ever be the same?

An adventure in the last of winter.

So this story would be way better with pictures but for once i didnt have a camera with me. Also didnt have my truck which is where i always have the camera. We drove up to missezula lake to drop off a friends fifth wheel for the camping season. Me Tavis Bob Isaac And Betsy. We dropped the trailer and went to bobs property to work on grandmas fifth wheel because she has roof leaks that are creating mold in the roof. It started raining so all I could do was expose the roof areas on the inside and get them drying out. We had some hot dogs with the kids and hung out for a bit. Bob took betsy and isaac for a big walk to the lake and throwing rocks into the creek. Tavis and I tried to come up with different ideas for a cabin for grandma. All was well and we decided to head out around four thirty. Tavis wanted to go out the back which is pretty much a 4x4 route to the connecter and then down to peachland. We started up and it was not to bad. I remember bob saying" oh we hit snow already that cant be good". We continued on and there was mixed snow and dirt on the road a little slippery in spots but nothing major. We came up a little hill and there was more snow annd it was melty and thick. Tavis took his foot off the gas fopr a second and that was all it took for us to get stuck. We got out and checked the road ahead Tavis figured that if we could get ahead a few hundred meters then we would be in the clear and pretty close to where the dirt road conected to the main logging road. We had to go back and get a bit of a run at it to see if we could make it. So Bob and i pushed and Tavis drove. As he was going back the front end hooked up in about eighteen inches of old grainy icy snow and it tracked the front end right into the ditch. So Heres the scene. A full sized extra cab dodge diesel. One front wheel burried in the ditch. opposite rear wheel about a foot off the ground. Middle of the truck high centred on the ground. About an dhour walk back to camp with no celll reception and two kids that are probably tired from the adventure so far. so we try to figure it out. one guy walks back to try to get help. the rest stay with the truck. two guys go back one stays. We all just head back together. I prayed little god we need a hand here prayers. And the truck just sat there. I figured we should try to get it out which seemed like a bit of a waste of time but we had about 3 hours of light left so if we tried for half an hour we could still walk out in the light no problem. We tried a few things and had a bit of success but nothing major. moved a few inche sand a few inche loser to putting the rear side tire in the ditch as well. God we really need some help here we have our kids with us and this is not a good situation. we had come to the end of our ideas for trying to get out and it looked like we were going to walk again. I had managed to stay pretty dry to this point and was trying not to get my jeans dirty. I remembered my friend Duane and i getting high centred in some really deep snow hunting one year and having to sleepin the truck. We had to get under the truck and dig the snow out to get enough weight to get the tires on the ground. so I got down on my hands and knees and took off my hoodie and with my hammer started excavating the bottom of the truck. I cleared everything away and saw where the front differential was stuck in the dirt. we couldnt dig it out dut maybe if we went up with the wheel then it would clear. so we found soem bigger flatter rocks and managed to move the trcu about eight inches in the right direction. We kep at it for about another half hour with mixed success but each time it worked we went another few inches or a foot and the rear wheels were tracking back onto the road. Picture me bouncing as hard as i could on the very corner of the bumper which was way up in the air. Like a gorilla finally we got some traction and the truck shot back. i went flying off whic was way better than going face first into the back of the truck and loosing some teeth. and we were excited but more stuck on the front end. It was looking more hopeless because we had got hung up worse. I was feeling a little frustrated with the whole thing. I mean really God if you were going to help us couldnt you have done it by now. i was pretty much soaked from the waste down now. my fancy america eagle jeans were a mess. And then it came to me. move the truck ahead a bit. Thats sounds stupid. Go farther into the ditch. Ohhh I see. so i got tavis to put one of our big flat rocks under the front tire. BOB inched it onto the big rock and we had created space between the differential and the ground. We wedged another big flat rock behind the wheel and crawled it back a foot. good ground to make up. we did it again but this time built more of a ramp out with rocks and with tavis and i pushing went at it. we had to clear out a few of the other tires but the important one was now getting un impeded grip on the rocks. Tavis and i got it all ready and bob started giving it gas. we pushed our last bit of energy into the front of the truck and it started going sudnely all four wheels grabbed and the truck went shooting back. spraying me from head to toe with mud snow and rocks. it was gross. i had snow melting in my hair. i was covered in dirt and i had taked a couple of rock so the shin. But it was like coming fully alive for an instant. Both hands in the air WHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!. We were out. Thank you GOD! We backed out the way we had come in untill we could turn around and then headed back to camp and out on the regular road. got home around 10 30 to an unimpressed wife but I was ok with it. No Big miracle happened. No levitating trucks. help from a passer by that just happened along our path. nothing like that. But we had persevered and goteen out with some crazy ingenuity and it was like God was there the whole time watching over you and giving little nudges but wanting you to do it yourself. Character building. I felt like i wanted to put the truck in the ditch again just to see if we could do it faster this time. The kids wer modle citizens through all this no whinning no crying just awesome. I got to sit in the back with betsy on the long ride home and although the dirt road was making me car sick it was great. she snuggled up beside me and it felt like this is what I was made for. Big shoulders for pushing and moving rocks. A certain amount of cockyness that wont let me back down from the challege and a big heart that still isnt big enough to hold all the love for other people. Challenges make you take stock. Tavis and i had been talking about satisfaction with where you are at about half an hour before the adventure started. We were trying to figure out if having a house and a nice truck and a family and jobs and making money was how the world defines satisfaction and you have all of it but you still arent satisfied with life what are you missing. Tavis and i have been connected by God for something. Weve had multiple words from people that we are moses and aaron. But it seems like whenever we start down a path no one seems to agree with our direction. Half the time we dont agree with each other. but we always seem to come to compromise or understanding of the othe guys point of view. But maybe its for us to just get down in the dirt and start pushing. Moving rocks and jumping on bumpers. stepping back and strategizing and then hitting it with all you have again. And not giving up. Ever!Maybe Satisfaction will only be a fleating moment a small victory at a time and then back at it. The moment after one of those victories is so fresh. You feel mighty. Like there is nothing in the world you cant do. And then reality is a 3 hour drive home soaking wet. But your little girl is there looking up at you and smiling and hugging your arm because your are the greatest thing in her small world. Maybe thats where satisfaction should come from. A life well done as opposed to a job.