The agony..

Sometimes in life you feel like the carpet gets pulled out from beneath you. You are sitting around discussing things with your friends when all of a sudden you hit on a subject and you realize that you arent on the same page. And its major stuff. Its not who your hockey teams are or which is your favorite fly for night fishing for brown trout. Its faith and God and these are the people you share your life with and now yuo are floored because not only do you not agree but one of you is very very wrong. And it doesnt really matter to you that you are the one thats right but it worries you that they could be wrong and this is bad stuff. This is foundational stuff that could lead to no more hanging out having these very discussions. And you sleep on it and you wake up the next morning and you are low. Just completly in a fog and no amount of coffee is bringing you out of this. Its all you can think about it consumes your day and you need soemone to talk to and you need them to talk back because you really want answers. And not feelings or thoughts concrete stake your life on them answers. And there is no one. You dont want the answers of your youth. You dont want the ideas of your friends and it feels like God cant speak fast enough or clear enough to sort it out for you. You feel like a lonely naked man standing in an open field. There is no where to hide no where to run and all you can do is sink to the ground and lie there. And then some one sees you and they ask whats wrong and you dont tell them but they offer to pray for you and there ok with not knowing why they just want to pray for you later when they are going to bed. And you look at the and say ok and the next day you wake up and you have a great day. You get some relief and you give your time to a worthy cause and the people around you are blessed and the pressure lifts and your still that lonely naked man but you dont feel like you cant stand up. Meybe you have a fig leaf or something but your not as naked feeling. And then you see soem of your friends and you want to talk to them about it but you realize that what you feel and how it would come out would probably make them not be your friend any more or maybe your spouse. And so you leave it alone for now and you try to just be friends but you know that its between you. And you wonder if it will ever be the same?