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These days im frusterated. Not even completely sure why just iritated and feel like pickin a fight with someone. Lots of good things are happening these days work has picked up and we are making money finally. Amys mom has had a huge turn around and might acctually come home from the hospice which is a miracle in itself. Everyone is healthy and enjoying the sun and high temps it almost doesnt seem like i could possible feel frusterated. And yet Im fighting myself I think this whole revival thing in lakeland and the way it has spread across the country seems so good on the outside but so wierd at it heart. And yet people are recieving miracles and what is happening to Amys mom is somewhat born out of this whole thing. Churches all across Canada and the states are jumping on the revival band wagon, holding satelite meetings and sending out elders and pastors to recieve the annointing and bring it back. The thing thats getting me is that for the last couple of years i have really desired to see a major move of God. I remember when i was in high school a fellow had come to the school and church and major spiritual acctivity was happening and it was undeniable as to what was going onpeople where getting healed. But now I have to wonder what made that great memory moment in my life any different than lakeland? I cant remember who the guy was. I do remeber people laughing uncontrolablly and falling down but no barking like dogs and shrieking like they were being crucified. I even had an experience myself where i just couldnt stop laughing I was just so happy i couldnt stop laughing. I think the irritation comes from not having a higher intellect to pick. Someone who is wise beyond years I guess that has seen it all. I have lots of friends but they are all into questioning the fundamentals these days. I believe that we need to look at soem things differentley, Like our attitudes towards the world around us and how we relate to nonchristians. I think we need to take the judgement of others sins out of our lives and leave it up to God more. We need to be wise to protect our families from harm but also open to taking a risk on Gods behalf. These are things I feel like have been lacking in the past but I have also noticed people really making efforts to correct them today and I feel encouraged by them. But not so much in my own little community. the progressive change is being overshadowed by this whole new age type movement in christianity. Really the lakeland revival isnt anydifferent than middle eastern style spirit guides and mysticism. The friends that I share a faith with seem more interested in pointing out what is wrong with our faith than charting a course with what is right. WE ARE STAGNANTE! There is only one couple that coems on wednesday night that isnt related to me somehow and my living room is full and has no room for people that might want to come. And I feel like kicking people out! Like asking them to leave so peoplethat really are interested in moving forward have somewhere to sit. And yet each week they all show up again and I dont even understand why. Im not interested in putting too much thought into my faith. If I have to reason it out then its not faith. For faith there is some stuff we will have to accept weather we understand it or not. I dont care if the bible is parable or not. Its the only book we have. I dont even feel the need to think about ends times because the end is coming for me and i have no control over that. If ive made the wrong choice in my faith I wont get to find that out untill the end anyhow and then its too late. I dont believe I have but Im also not going to stress out about my decision. this is pretty rambly and speratic thought but I often feel better trying to type out whats in my mind. And when your not trying to explain it to soemone so that they understand you its less frusterating. I try to never reply to a comment because then I have to discuss it and thats not why I blogg. I do it to get the thoughts out. Kinda like a modern day journal that others can read. And i do like the comments its kindof a passive interactition that doesnt require alot of effort. Funny I feel better already :)